Lieutenant's Lieutenant
by Isilithix
Summary: A crazy, zany story where Naruto dies as a toddler thanks to the stupidity of Konohagakure, the Sandaime and the Yondaime Hokage. After his death, he ends up in the realm of Bleach at the tender age of Three... KonohaBashing, over used plot bashing.
1. Chapter 1

Lieutenant's Lieutenant

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Alright people it is now time for…A new humor story…One that may or may not be continued by myself per say. But first…Explanations...

When I decided to continue _Kitty_, back when it was still just a one-shot, though mislabeled; I thought that I could do it…And for a while I thought that I had done a pretty good job. However, with the accusations of theft(how I could steal my own story still boggles me, but whatever…) and the personal need to just stop writing it, I realized that I screwed it up royally. I think it can be saved, but I'd have to re-write it…Not from scratch, but I'd have to reconstruct some chapters, which will take even more time.

_Adventures of Ramen Lord and Kitty_ hasn't moved since I wrote the first chapter. It's still there, but it's been on the back burner, slowly stewing at about ten degrees Fahrenheit for the last couple of months. I still want to do it, but at the moment…Yeah. Oh well, at least you might have a chance to vote for who you want to be Sasuke's sidekick(depending on when you find this story that is.)

_Heir of Uzu_ is still being reworked, thought chapter 3 is about twenty percent complete, on paper that is. If all things go well, the first chapter may be out by the middle of March…Maybe…

_Acidic Properties_, what started out as an idea for a Marvel hero/villain, then morphed into its' own separate thing; has finally decided not to go with it after careful consideration and has told me in a letter the other week, that it has finally come off of its' wannabe kick. Will that mean chapters ASAP? Probably not.

…Now…On to this story…Well, first off…Let me _copy/paste_ this interesting/funny thing I recently found on _**The Pro**_'s profile, who got it from _**Silent Master**_:

Step One: Naruto is being chased by an angry mob even though he's only three years old (barly old enough to wipe his own ass) and living alone for some reason.

Step Two: He trips and/or reaches a dead end (oh noooo's) and they procede to inflict grevous, crippling, and all around over exaggerated unsurvivable wounds.

Step Three: After ten minutes of stabbing and beating (Which miraculously avoided his vitals) someone comes in to inflict the the final blows at the crowds jeering.

Step Four: In a 'thrilling' and 'suspenseful' moment a giant war-hammer is swung down on Naruto, only to be stopped an inch from his head by token superhero #25.

Step Five: Token superhero #25 yells at crowd. "WHAT ARE DO DOING TO TO THIS POOR BOY?," crowd replies. "KILLING THE DEMON!" or the like. Slaughter ensues.

Step Six: Sarutobi and an Anbu squad show up. (perfect timing) Hokage confronts token superhero #25. "WHO ARE YOU?" hero responds. "I'm super awesome-man! (Relation to Naruto's parents optional) Now why are your villagers attacking this poor boy?"

Step Seven: The Hokage proceeds to break his own law and tells to complete strangers Narutos life story, much to their outrage.

Step Eight: Token superhero #25 says he's taking the boy away to train him. Sarutobi agrees immendiatly without aguement, but pleads for them to return for the Genins exams. #25 agrees. (The fact that he agreed to bring the kid back to a place that delivered a massive beating to a three year old didn't seem to bother him.)

Step Nine: Naruto wakes up after the ten minute conversation completely healed, energetic, and with enough brain damage to forgive the entire ordeal. (Apparently he's Jesus, filled with infinate forgiveness for the unforgivable)

Step Ten: They fill Naruto in on the details and he begs to be able to come back to be Hokage. (a three year old can comprehend that...how?) and the duo is off.

Step Eleven: Time skip. Naruto returns, covered in trench coats and pictures of foxes. (throwing all stigmas to the wind).

Step Twelve: Meets Hokage and dishes out all his skills in painful detail. (Throwing all ninja sense to the wind.) Assigned to go to the academy, which happens to be having its exam that day.

Step Thirteen: Shows off dramarically for the test and remainder of story, pwning everyone but Orochimaru in the Forest of death.

Step Foreteen: Falls in love with _**Hinata?**_

_**Silent Master**_ put into words what I have been feeling for quite a while now, and I thank him/her for that, as well as _**The Pro**_, who's profile I happened to stumble on and found this lovely explanation before actually writing this story down on virtual paper.

This story follows…Steps 1-5…Only, this story has a twist.

Instead of…Well, you know what? You'll find out. Have fun…

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Uzumaki Naruto, three year old pariah of Konohagakure; was currently running for his life. Why? Because of the gigantic, village wide mob that was currently up in arms over his very existence. Why? Because he was the living jail of the most feared Biju of all time, the Kyuubi no Kitsune. What was the Kyuubi? The Kyuubi was a demon of great power; said to be able to destroy mountains with a single flick of its tails, and create tsunami sized waves with a single wave of its tails.

How did such a demon of great and terrible power become locked within a small child? The Yondaime Hokage, of course. The man who could do anything and everything. From saving his future fiancé from enemy nin while only just a Chuunin, to becoming the first man under the age of thirty to become Hokage. He could scare thousand of enemy ninja just by appearing in a flash of fancy yellow light, earning him the nick name, 'Konoha's Yellow Flash'. However, there was one thing he couldn't do…Kill the Kyuubi no Kitsune.

Instead of killing the demon, the infamous ninja instead called up the powers of the Shinigami, the God of Death; to help him seal the monster's power and soul not within the God, which would have been more effective, considering how powerful the being was; but within his own son, who had been born minutes before the Kyuubi had been effectively ripped out of his mother's body by a man named Marada; an insane man who wanted to destroy the village.

However, sealing the Kyuubi no Kitsune away with the aid of the Shinigami had a great cost. It killed the summoner of the Shinigami. Before he died, he told his predecessor, Sarutobi Hiruzen, that he wanted his son to be seen as a hero for what he bore and for keeping it safely away from the surrounding populace.

Hiruzen, the 'Professor' as some called him for his intellect; decided to have a gigantic brain fart. He knew somewhere in the back of his mind that his dying successor was nuts and that his son would never been seen as a hero. However, he was a man of honor; and he was going to honor his successor's last wish. So, he blabbed to the whole village that the Kyuubi was not dead, but just locked away for the time being inside a small infant. Naturally, out of fear, the populace demanded that the infant be killed. Hiruzen said no, and then banned anyone from harming the boy or telling anyone else about the beast he held within his body. The punishment for disobeying his orders, civilian or not, was death.

However…Hiruzen's gigantic brain fart must have caused some permanent brain damage, and forgot his own threat because instead of killing those who attempted to kill the infant, he let them go with a verbal warning and a slap on their wrist. He had effectively, whether he wanted it or not, sealed the now three year old child's fate.

...Uzumaki Naruto was three, and he was running for his life. He had been wandering the streets of Konohagakure for a little over two weeks now, looking for food to eat; when he happened upon a rotten apple. Being three years old, the toddler knew nothing about food safety and took a bite…Big mistake.

The foul taste of the rotten apple in his mouth; caused the blonde to naturally spit it out…Right onto a drunkard's shoe. One thing lead to another, and ended with Naruto running as fast as he could from a mob that was easily at least half the village.

As he ran, the little boy looked over his shoulder to see if the extremely loud mob was still right behind him. It was. He could see swords and spears, axes and knives; even a torch or fifty. He knew that if they caught him, he would be taking the big nap. He turned his head, ready to run all day if he had too…When he tripped…Over a sleeping rock. Oh, wait. Rocks don't sleep…Oh well.

As he fell, the mob surrounded him…And then, screaming and chanting as loud as they could; they started beating the boy to death.

00oo00

Ten minutes of merciless beating, pain and suffering later; and the boy was still clinging to life. Luckily for the boy, none of the stab wounds hit any vitals; even though his lungs should have been torn to ribbons from the various spear thrusts into his chest. He opened his eyes, as he had been every ten seconds or so for the last ten minutes, and saw something that scared the living day lights out of him…Because, obviously a mob that easily numbered a thousand strong didn't.

It was a man, nearly eleven feet tall and four feet wide. In his gigantic hands were two large wooden clubs. He took in a deep breath…raised the clubs over his fat head…Before yelling as loud as he could, brining the clubs down on the blonde toddler.

Naruto instinctively closed his eyes, ready to embrace death…When…

"Halt! What do you people think you're doing to this poor, defenseless child!" An oddly dressed man with skinny arms yelled as he stopped the left club. "Don't worry kid, I'll sav-"

_SPLOOSH!_

"…you…" he looked behind him at the blonde haired boy he was hoping to save…and found that the large man's second club had crushed the boy's head and neck; leaving nothing more than a nasty puddle of blood, brains and crushed bones. He turned back at the giant of a man and scowled. "You were supposed to stop when I caught your club!" The giant just laughed harshly.

"Really?" the giant asked. The supposed, would be savior nodded angrily. "I'll have you know, that I have two arms...And just because you stopped one of them, doesn't mean that you stopped both of them." The giant turned around and slung his clubs over his shoulders and began to walk through the already amazingly sparse crowd of suddenly sober people and soon vanished. The oddly dressed super hero looked back at the blonde toddler's crush corpse and started to cry.

As he fell to his knees, Sarutobi Hiruzen appeared, dressed in his old battle robes. He was flanked by twenty expertly trained Anbu assassins(because assassin wasn't already in their abbreviated title); and opened his mouth.

"Freeze!" The super hero wannabe turned his head and looked at the old man and his assassins, tears still streaming down his face.

"I-I couldn't s-sa-sa-save him!" He turned back to the toddler's corpse and picked up his limp, cooling body; turning around to show the old man, who took the time to actually look at the corpse before crying as well.

"…Oh Minato-Kun!" he wailed loudly. "I FAILED! I COULDN'T KEEP YOUR PROMISE TO KEEP YOUR SON ALIVE!"

Far off in the distance, the giant who had crushed Naruto's head with his club suddenly started to cry. "I killed the Yondaime's son…" he whimpered. He brandished a knife that came out of nowhere and stabbed himself in the stomach. "I killed…An innocent…Chil…d…"

Darkness fell upon the village of assassins, and everybody felt sad. Even new born ants started to cry for no apparent reason. The world was sad.

Two days later, the name Uzumaki Naruto, was added to the Stone of Fallen Heroes, and everyone wept again. They all cried for the boy, and remembered how they hated him with all their passion, all of their might…Thinking that just because he was dead and they were crying for him, realizing that he wasn't a monster; made it all better; and that when they died, they'd all go to heaven.

00oo00

For Uzumaki Naruto, his journey in the world of the living had come to an abrupt, but predictable end. However, just because he had died, didn't mean that his journey had ended. Oh no.

He hadn't been dead for more than two minutes before someone dressed in black robes came over to him and smacked the butt of their katana down on his forehead. Ten seconds after that, the blonde toddler suddenly found himself waking up in a small open area, surrounded by trees…

Chapter End…

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This is, as you may have guessed, a spoof fic. making fun of people who use the same old-same old for every story and never change a damned thing about it. Don't worry, the content will get better.

This is a crossover with _Bleach_ as I have never seen before. That's right, a three year old Naruto is dead and in the world of _Bleach_! How exciting!

At this point in time, Naruto will be entering the _Bleach_ universe a few years before Kenpachi and Yachiru go to the Seireitei. Here's how this is going to hopefully play out:

1. Kenpachi and Yachiru find Naruto a couple days after he arrives in Rukongai's 79th District. Yachiru, being older than Naruto at the time they find him, takes him in as a younger brother. Without much of a choice, Kenpachi decides to keep him. He allows Naruto to keep his first name, but Yachiru changes his last name and he becomes a Kusajishi like her.

2. After a few years of wandering through the dangerous areas of the Rukongai, the trio find themselves outside of the Seireitei. Canon events follow up until Kenpachi kills the former Kenpachi and then becomes the new Kenpachi…Confusing, I know, but hey! That's what the Canon says he did…Sort of.

3. Naruto and Yachiru later become the lieutenants of the 11th Division, or rather; Yachiru makes Naruto her lieutenant. Fanon stuff will appear before and after such thing occurs.

No pairings because Naruto is effectively going to be stuck as a kid for the whole freaking story…

Oh, and just so you guys and gals know, I wrote the little list just incase I forget…Okay? Okay.

Anyway, hope you enjoy spoofs, because that's what this is…Sort of…

Ja Ne!


	2. Chapter 2

Lieutenant's Lieutenant

Edit: March/02/2011 4:07am - If you see any spelling errors, please let me know. I have been fighting with my Spellchecker for the last couple of weeks, but this takes the cake.

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Turning to his adoptive daughter, he spoke. "That's it!" He started to move closer to her, sword in his right hand. "We're leaving him here!" The girl shook her head fiercely.

"He could die out here, Ken-Chan…" Zaraki just shrugged. He bent down slightly and grabbed the back of the girl's yukata and picked her up off the ground and plopped her on his left shoulder.

"Then let him!" was the man's reply. "'Sides! He's too much of a pansy to hang with us…Afraid of a sword…pathetic!" He turned around, facing away from the blonde boy Yachiru had found earlier that afternoon in a small clearing in a forest where the duo had stopped for a break; and started to leave. However, as soon as he began; he felt Yachiru jump off of his left shoulder. He stopped, turned around and found his pink haired companion rushing back to the blonde's side. "…Let's go, Yachiru." The girl shook her head. "LET'S GO!" he bellowed. The girl shook her head again, this time grabbing the boy's right hand with her left hand.

"No!" she replied angrily.

"Yachiru…" Zaraki began, but stopped.

"We can't leave him, Ken-Chan…" the pink haired girl tugged the blonde closer to her, wrapping a small arm around the boy's neck, pulling him into a hug.

"…Why?" Zaraki asked. "He isn't the first kid we've come across." The girl didn't answer. "But this is the first time you've acted like this."

"…" The girl didn't answer. Instead, she looked at the younger boy and thought about it for a minute. "I like him." She answered softly. "He's fun." Zaraki saw the boy look at Yachiru and smile slightly.

"But he's a wimp." The boy's smile disappeared. Taking a deep breath, the sword wielding man sighed. "Fine…" the girl's face lit up. Zaraki glared at the boy harshly, making the boy take a small step back, breaking away from Yachiru, getting ready to flee incase Zaraki lunged for him. _'Obviously not a virgin to violence.'_ "Kid." He addressed the blonde. "Yachiru likes you. Why she does, I have no clue; but let me tell you one thing…And I want you to listen good." He held up his sword and swung it quickly, cutting the air in front of him. The boy flinched. "If you travel with us…You have to get over your fear of swords; 'cuase almost every single person in Kusajishi as a sword or a knife. The rules to life here in the Rukongai is fight for what you want, kill all who get in your way." The boy paled. "…You haven't been here too long, have you?" the boy shook his head. Zaraki sighed again. He sat down on the forest floor and motioned for Yachiru and the boy to do the same.

"How long have you been here?" the boy blinked in confusion. "How long have you been here in the forest?"

"…T-Three mornings…" the boy replied softly. Zaraki felt his nose twitch in irritation.

"Damn it…" the man muttered softly. He looked at the boy closely and took notice of the boy's clothes. Except for the dirt near the boy's knees, his outfit was fairly clean. "…Didn't they tell you what was going on?" the boy slowly shook his head, clearly confused. "Damn Shinigami…Can't do their damn jobs right…" he muttered under his breath. "Alright look…You are dead." The boy's answer surprised him. Usually people would freak out after finding out that they were actually dead; instead of hyperventilating, the boy just nodded. "Did the Shinigami who sent you here tell you that?" the boy shook his head.

"No…" he started. "I saw myself." Zaraki was puzzled for a moment, but quickly deciphered what the boy meant.

"Really?" the boy nodded. "What happened? Do you remember?" the boy nodded. "Explain."

"Huh?" the boy asked. Zaraki sighed again. Clearly the boy hadn't been taught properly when he was alive.

"Tell me and Yachiru how you died." _'Maybe it'll explain why he's so damn scared of my sword.'_ The boy gulped and looked down at the forest floor for a moment or two. Yachiru had to poke him to get him to speak. Several times. After finally getting fed up with her jabs, the boy opened his mouth.

"…I don't know how to say it." He admitted.

"What do you mean?" Zaraki asked. "How did you die?" Surely it wasn't a hard question to answer…Was it? When the boy opened and closed his mouth several times, Zaraki's patience started to wear thin. "Do you remember what you were doing before you died?" the boy nodded. "Then start with that." The boy nodded.

"I was looking for foods…" the blonde began. "I looked in a lot of trash cans, but didn't find nothing…" Zaraki interrupted the blonde for a moment.

"What about your parents?" he asked. The boy shrugged.

"The stinky Jiji tolded me they dieded. But the Matron tolded me that they gave me to her…She said that I was a bad boy, and my Mommy and Daddy didn't want me no more." Zaraki frowned.

'_Matron…That means he was at an orphanage.'_ What kind of woman told a toddler that their parents didn't want him? "Why didn't they want you?" the blonde looked down at the ground again.

"…She said that they didn't want me no more 'cause I killed and eated people." Zaraki's eyes widened. "I don't remember eating people before…" the boy added. Zaraki nodded. The boy didn't look like he a cannibal.

"…So, you were looking for food in some trash cans, but didn't find any…What happened after that?" the sword wielding man asked.

"I looked around for foods, and I found a squishy apple…" Zaraki and Yachiru listened to the blonde as he told them how he took a bit of the rotten apple, spat it out...on someone's shoe.

As the blonde boy told his story, Zaraki felt a burning hatred well up within him. Normally he wasn't overly emotional. However, he had never liked hurting children; of course, if they tried to attack him or Yachiru, he'd slay them in an instant…But for something as stupid and idiotic as some rotten apple on a shoe? _'…What's with the whole 'Die demon, die!' thing?'_

After a couple of minutes of telling Zaraki how fast he had run to get away from the giant mob that had begun to chase him, the blonde finally came to the end of his tale.

"Then a big man, biggerer than you, squashed me with his club…Some weird man with poofy hair smacked me on the head with his sword, I fell asleep and then I woke up here…" The boy ended with of a shrug of his small shoulders. "I stayed here, hoping for peoples to come…But no one came." He looked at Yachiru and smiled. "Until she came and tagged me!" The girl smiled and patted him on the back. Zaraki took a deep, calming breath.

'…_At least I know where his fear of swords comes from.'_ He hated to admit it, but after being stabbed by spears, cut by swords, stuck with knives and finally having your head crushed by a giant club was enough to give anyone nightmares…Except him. _'But for a child to go through that…'_ He looked at the boy and then to his daughter…Then back to the boy. After staring at the pair of kids for several minutes, he stood up. "Let's go." Both kids looked at him.

"Ken…Chan?" Yachiru asked, confused by Zaraki's comment. The man looked down at her and the blonde. He bent down and grabbed the girl by her yukata and brought her up to his left shoulder and plopped her down on it. Eyeing the boy, he motioned his head to his left.

"You can come, Gaki." Zaraki stated, earning a small smile from the blonde, and a high pitched cheer from Yachiru. "But, it's only because Yachiru likes you so much…Got that?" the blonde nodded hastily. "If it were up to me, I'd have left you long ago." Zaraki turned around and began to walk away.

"W-What about me? Don't I get a ride?" Zaraki stopped and turned his head to look at the blonde. The look he gave the blonde screamed _'No way!'_.

"Only Yachiru get's to ride on my shoulder…" he started. "Besides, you need to man up, Gaki. I can't have a pansy riding around on my shoulder." The boy looked down, saddened by the swordsman's words. "Besides, if you want to be able to protect yourself, you need to get stronger. Riding on my shoulder isn't going to help you."

"Then why does Ya-Chan get to?" Zaraki blinked at the nick name the blonde had come up for Yachiru.

"Because!" The pink haired girl chirped, looking at the blonde; who frowned slightly.

"But! Don't you need to get strongerer too?" the pink haired girl nodded. "Then why don't you walk?"

"Because," Zaraki interrupted, "because I said so, that's why!" the blonde gulped but nodded anyway.

"And!" Yachiru began. "I'm super strong! Aren't I, Ken-Chan?" the man just nodded. "Now come on, Hige-Chan!" the blonde lit up, a scowl on his face.

"My name isn't Hige!" he stomped his small feet on the ground in anger; and act that made Zaraki raise his right eyebrow slightly. "It's Naruto! Uzumaki Na-Ru-To!"

"Fish cake whirlpool?" Zaraki asked. He smiled almost cruelly; knowing what was going to happen next. From her place on his left shoulder, Yachiru snapped her fingers and then pointed at the blonde boy.

"Uzumaki is lame." The boy stammered. "Naruto is funny, but Uzumaki is boring…So…" she smiled at him cutely; "your new name is…Kusajishi Naruto!"

"…Kusajishi?" the blonde repeated. The girl nodded.

"My name is Kusajishi Yachiru! Ken-Chan named me!" the swordsman smiled softly at the memory. "And, because you're coming with us, that makes you a Kusajishi too!"

"…Like a family?" the pink haired girl thought about it for a few seconds before nodding.

"Yep!" she chirped "Ken-Chan is the Daddy, I'm the Daughter; and you're the baby!" the blonde scowled.

"I'm not a baby!" he growled. "I'm three years old!"

"I'm five!" the girl replied. "So that makes you the baby!"

"I am not a baby!" the blonde yelled angrily, something that made Zaraki grin.

"Naruto is the baby! Naruto is the baby!" Yachiru closed her eyes and puckered her lips at the younger blonde. _"Ah!"_she cooed. _"Naru-Chan is so cute!"_

"I am not a BABY!"

"Haha!" Zaraki barked out a laugh, not able to contain it any longer. The two kids bickered back and forth about what Naruto's name was, and who he was in the little family group as they slowly moved closer and closer to Zaraki's goal: To become the strongest in the Seireitei!

Chapter End

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Okay…I hope that its not too confusing…I've written this stupid thing six times now, and just want it out of my face…(sighs)

This chapter was so freaking hard to write! Maybe it's because I started it off several different ways, or maybe it was because I tried to write Naruto as a three year old and how he saw the world around of him. Or maybe, maybe it was because I tried to write everything Naruto said like how my oldest nephew; who's almost five now, spoke like when he was three…Whatever it was…I'm glad it's done and over with. Hopefully I didn't make Zaraki too OC…It's just hard to figure out how he would talk to a slightly fearful three year old.

The third chapter will take place in the middle of the Kusajishi district of the Rukongai(yes, Kusajishi is the name of the 79th district, it's where Yachiru's surname comes from.) Chapter 4 will probably be a couple of years in the future, where the trio are somewhere in the middle of the Rukongai(around the 40th district.)

Does the story seem to be moving too fast? I think so too. However, it's because I don't want to be stuck outside of the Seireitei for too long. Don't worry, people; Zaraki will not think of Naruto as his son immediately, merely as a friend of Yachiru. Will he ever allow Naruto to hitch a ride on his shoulders as he does Yachiru? Who knows. It might be Yachiru's special spot.

I'm not entirely sure when or where Yachiru got/gets her zanpakuto from, but I'll add that in before they head to the Seireitei. Same thing for Naruto.

Hige - Whiskers

Now…Important things:

1. In the _Naruto_ manga/anime(which I no longer watch/read due to the complete idiocy that has been implemented in the last few chapters) Naruto is shown as more of a mid range to close range fighter. However, he's also kind of a wimp. He makes clones, sends his clones in, but for the first wave or so, he tends to hang back for a couple of moments before joining the fight. I'm not sure what to give him for his Shikai or his Bankai(if I make him reach it. I may not…Who knows.) I'm not opening a new poll about it; but I am looking around for ideas. If you have an idea, please, tell me. Not like this: OMG! YOU SHULD HAS HIM USE BRONZE NUCKLES!1!; but with proper or semi proper English. If English isn't your first language, I will over look errors. If you are young, I will over look errors – everyone makes mistakes – Anyone who speaks English as a first language and still types like that, your comments, unless they are very good; will be over looked.

2. In the _Bleach_ manga/anime, Yachiru has a crush on Byakuya(just a crush, nothing explicit you pervs…) and I have decided, for the humor aspect of the story, that Naruto will also have one…But on who? I don't know. I _may_ set up a poll about it later, but it won't happen for quite some time, so save your comments for later. Oh, and votes via reviews do not count. Got that? If you don't have an account, I'm sorry, but I do not want to have to count all the reviews, recount for accuracy and then a third time because I forgot who won. I will tell you this: It will be on a Shinigami(sorry peeps, Naruto isn't going to crush on Orohime or Tatsuki(who I like)); but a female Shinigami. It won't be Yoruichi or Rukia. Everyone else is fair game…Except for Momo…She scares me…and not in a good way.

3. Flashbacks will be used; so if you don't like them, then; too bad so sad. Most of the flashbacks I write have information that deals with the story they are created for. If you decide to skip them and then wonder why something doesn't make sense, or how Naruto or Yachiru suddenly have their Zanpakuto; then that's your fault, not mine.

4. The Kyuubi is still with Naruto. How is this possible? I don't know. Ask Kishimoto. How the hell do two HUMANS survive being in the Kyuubi's stomach for several weeks, eating the flesh of its stomach, get crapped out and have the Kyuubi's powers in life and after being summoned back to the world of the living? By the way, this is what has killed the manga/anime for me; just in case you were wondering.

5. Characters from the _Naruto_ Universe will make appearances. They will _not_ recognize Naruto; even with his whiskers(which are still there), and obviously Naruto will not remember any of them, except for maybe the man who crushed his skull with his clubs. So, when the Rookie Nine(now Rookie Eight due to the fact that Naruto isn't even alive) arrive in the future, and some of them will; they will not be shocked and amazed to see him. Why? Because Naruto died when he was three. None of the Rookies met Naruto before he died. Also, time travels differently in the Seireitei/Rukongai. For every three or so _Naruto_ years; only one might pass in the _Bleach_ world. Maybe more, I don't know. So, when the Rookies do make it; they will be a hell of a lot older than Naruto…Appearance wise…Maybe. I don't really know. There isn't a definite time line, or at least I haven't found one that measures out Afterlife years and Life years.

Anyway…I'm tired…Going to probably go to sleep soon, so I'll just wrap this up.

Thanks for reading, and if you have any information that you think might prove useful or valuable, please inform me. Thank you.

Ja Ne.


End file.
